


Nothing Should Stop Us

by tumble4rpdr



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:29:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27183859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tumble4rpdr/pseuds/tumble4rpdr
Summary: “At the mention of Austin’s name Jose could see Brock’s expression change. The brightness in his eyes and the ease of his smile quickly washed away like sidewalk chalk drawings after a rainstorm.Austin was the newest dancer to join Drag Race Live and him and Jose became fast friends. While filming the new season of Vegas Revue it seemed like the camera was drawn to them like Icarus to the sun and Jose knew that he was the one who was going to get burned. He enjoyed Austin’s company and he was certainly fun to be around and rehearse with but Jose knew the producers and the fans wanted something more.”Brock and Jose are closer than ever but when a new dancer joins the Las Vegas Revue, will expectations and insecurities stop them from becoming something more?
Relationships: Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34





	Nothing Should Stop Us

**Author's Note:**

> This started with a stream of consciousness of Vanjie dialogue that I wrote in the middle of the night (which is featured toward the end) after rewatching An Evening With Vanjie and how she talks about how she’s focused on her career and couldn’t have a boyfriend because she’d be distracted and want to spend all her time with him. I’ve been meaning to write this for months but life got in the way (it has been four months since I last wrote something) so I’m just so glad I finally finished it. This fic is also going with the assumption that the Vegas Revue will return on January 28, 2021 (like they announced in the last episode) but Austin is a fictional character. I want to thank everyone who reads and comments on this and I hope you all enjoy💜

“Bitch I still can’t believe your over-sharing, expose and disclose ass posted that pic of me at rehearsals,” Jose shrieked, his grin like a sunrise as it illuminated his whole face.

“Oops,” Brock smirked as he chuckled at Jose through the phone screen while Henry dozed in his lap. “I was just trying to wish you good luck for reopening night and to show everyone how hard you’ve been working.”

“Don’t try to get all cute. I sent you that shit in private, you know,” Jose continued, playfully accusatory, as he toweled off his shower-damp hair. “Like a for-your-eyes-only kind a situation. You ain’t supposed to be showing me off as anything less than camera-ready. I feel so exposed,” Jose exclaimed as he pulled his hotel robe tighter around his chest.

“Consider it payback for that less than flattering image of me in my underwear that got circulated around Twitter thanks to a certain someone,” Brock remarked, the coldness in his tone thawed by his warm giggle and teasing smirk. “And I don’t see anything wrong with this picture. How am I supposed to separate a friend photo from a fan photo when you always look good to me?”

Jose’s breath caught before he could stop himself, Brock’s innocent compliment like the midday sun making his cheeks heat up and his fragilely strong heart melt. He thought of the similar feeling he got when Brock would comment on the pictures and clips he began sending him once Drag Race Live rehearsals started back up. Every soft smile or heart emoji or word of praise made Jose’s skin tingle with a sense of comfort and familiarity and care, like when he would wrap himself in one of Brock’s hoodies when he was away.

At Jose’s reaction, Brock seemed to realize what he said, his cheeks turning as pink while he continued to watch Jose, his eyes glimmering with what Jose thought was tentative hope as his lips curled up into a bashful smile.

Jose took a steadying breath, hoping Brock didn’t notice, and quickly cleared his throat. His heart felt like a bubbling cauldron ready to overflow, boiling high with the intensity of Brock’s attention and adoration, threatening to spill out and flood his veins and his body with a love and desire that was too overwhelming. He put on a sassy grin more fitting of Vanjie than Jose, simultaneously putting a lid on the kettle inside his chest, tightly sealing off all the feelings that he both cursed and longed for.

“Bitch, I know I always be looking on point,” Jose quipped, desperately hoping the blush of his cheeks had started to fade and that his confidence was believable. “But how you think it’s okay to be posting shots of me swimming in sweat with my hair looking like I ain’t never owned a brush?”

“Sweat’s sexy papi,” Brock answered with a playful grin as Jose rolled his eyes suppressing his own smirk. “All hot and wet and messy, you could’ve saved this picture for your OnlyFans account.”

“Shit, all you blonde hoes got the same dirty ass minds. Austin texted me the same damn thing not even a minute after the post went up.”

At the mention of Austin’s name Jose could see Brock’s expression change. The brightness in his eyes and the ease of his smile quickly washed away like sidewalk chalk drawings after a rainstorm.

Austin was the newest dancer to join Drag Race Live and him and Jose became fast friends. While filming the new season of Vegas Revue it seemed like the camera was drawn to them like Icarus to the sun and Jose knew that he was the one who was going to get burned. He enjoyed Austin’s company and he was certainly fun to be around and rehearse with but Jose knew the producers and the fans wanted something more.

Jose had come to learn that while he was loved for his talent and his charm and his brashness, nothing got him more support than when he was trying to find love. Every time he even looked at another guy he could feel the cameras circling him like a pack of lions stalking their prey. Every time he showed his desire for romance and affection the fans immediately speculated who he should be with and constantly brought up the ex who he had truly never stopped missing.

Just like what happened with Kameron, Jose knew that the show would take his friendship with a cute boy and try to turn them into the next Branjie. Austin could even be thought to look a little like Brock, with his blonde hair and pale, fit frame though Jose didn’t see it, thinking instead of all the things that made Brock one of a kind.

Jose looked back at Brock through the screen, seeing that Henry had left his lap as he was now sitting up uncomfortably straight and running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame his messy curls.

“So you and Austin, huh?” Brock said with a forced huff of laughter and an uncomfortable smile.

“Yeah, he’s something alright,” Jose awkwardly replied unsure of what to say. “They’ve had them cameras tailing us nearly 24/7. Looks like they trying to make something outta us.”

At this point Jose was resigned to the fact that on any reality show he would be a part of, his love life, or lack thereof, would be prominently featured. His persona had changed from lovable underdog during the competition and some time after, to optimistic sweetheart dreaming of love and the chance for a happy ending. Jose adored his fans, their love and support like a warm blanket on a cold winter night, and he’d gladly take on any character he needed to play. And he wasn’t lying when he said he believed that relationships could work if you wanted them to. He wasn’t misleading the fans with a vulnerable post in the dead of night about how he just wanted someone who would stay. Jose loved his career, made it his primary focus after things ended with Brock, but sometimes he felt like it took too much, like Vanjie and all the expectations that went along with her were costing Jose exactly what the fans and the producers were so desperate for him to find.

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Brock replied. “I mean, look how much attention the show got when we all thought you and Kameron were…” he trailed off as he looked down wearily, his visible hand clenched in a fist. “Well, I hope it goes the way you want it to.”

“I don’t-“ Jose began before Brock interrupted him.

“Look, um, I have to go, but I just wanted to wish you luck on reopening night and, um, know that I’ll be thinking of you,” Brock said quietly. “Bye Jose.”

“Bye Brock,” Jose replied before his farewell was cut off by Brock abruptly ending the call.

*****

Opening night post-quarantine was just as exciting and satisfying as before. Jose did not realize just how much he missed performing but getting back on stage felt like coming home as he was swept up in all the emotions of his performance. Jose felt the bright, hot lightening coursing through his veins and the forceful, passionate storm brewing in his heart rush out of his body through each and every move and swept the crowd up in a tornado of power and purpose and joy.

Jose felt like he was floating, the energy of the crowd, however small, bringing him higher and higher and keeping him up in the clouds as the queens and dancers made their way to a bar to celebrate their successful comeback. It had been so long since Jose had spent time with his show family and it was nice to be able to giggle and joke and feel proud of his cast mates and himself. The drinks flowed and the camera rolled and phones continued to flash, capturing moments of shining eyes and tipsy grins hidden beneath everyone’s masks.

Jose got back to his hotel room still smiling to himself, bathing in the warmth of the alcohol in his system and the delight filling his chest. He threw off his clothes and got into bed, immediately reaching for his phone to see what Brock thought of his updated costume and to let him know how well the night had gone. When he clicked the messages app, however, Jose found that none of the texts the little red number promised were from Brock. He opened their text chain and saw the picture he sent Brock right before he went on stage, the message having been read hours ago but not replied to.

He sent Brock another message about his performance and the afterparty, waiting to share the softer details of how right it felt to be back once he knew Brock would answer. Minutes passed as Jose stared at his message, unchanging as if it were a framed photo. To quell his now increasingly worried mind, Jose turned to his many Instagram notifications for a distraction while he waited for a response.

He saw the pictures posted by some of the other queens and Voss Events and made sure to like each and every one of them. It was then that he landed on a post from the RuPaul’s Drag Race Instagram account of him and Austin when they were joking about how hard and strange it is to try and flirt during quarantine. It was a picture of the two of them playfully trying to kiss through their masks with the caption **Mask for Mask**. Jose rolled his eyes and chucked at the silliness of it all as he tapped on the heart icon and typed 😘😘😘 in the comment section. He felt his eyes start to close and his mind get hazy so Jose shut off the light and nestled into his pillow, heading into his dreams with the hope that he would have a message from Brock by morning.

*****

Jose woke to the blaring sound of his alarm and slowly sat up in bed with a yawn. When he was fully awake he remembered last night and quickly grabbed for his phone to check his text to Brock. Once again his message was seen without a reply, the read time stamp like a punch to the gut, turning the concern Jose had felt the past night into sharp anger as his fingers stabbed at the keys to FaceTime Brock.

He was surprised when Brock actually picked up the call, his irritation momentarily dulled by the hard, unemotional look on Brock’s face.

“Where the hell you been?” Jose questioned accusatorially. “Last night was opening night in case you forgot and you can’t even be bothered to answer a text?”

“It seems like you managed to get over it,” Brock replied coldly. “If Instagram is anything to go by it looks like you didn’t need me to enjoy yourself.”

“Why you trying to start something?” Jose asked. “We was celebrating being back and how great we all did. Something you would know and could’ve been a part of if you actually answered my damn texts.”

“Looks like Austin was already there to fill the part for me,” Brock retorted. “I guess I should be happy, at least it’s not another queen this time.”

Jose’s eyes narrowed and his body filled with rage.

“Don’t come at me with that,” Jose sharply replied. “You outta everybody should know that that shit ain’t real. And what kind of ho do you take me for thinking I got eyes for every pretty blonde white boy within a ten mile radius of me. You know I ain’t just giving my feelings away,” Jose sighed and looked to the floor trying to avoid Brock’s icy stare. “You should know by now that you was special,” he quietly confessed.

Jose saw Brock’s gaze melt for a split second before he put his walls back up and let his heart freeze over again.

“Well maybe I don’t know,” Brock snapped back. “If what we had was so meaningful to you then why are you so eager to flirt with everybody else? And why are you always so ready to turn what we had into some kind of joke or use it as just another way to tease the fans?”

“That’s what you think?” Jose asked affronted.

“That’s what I know,” Brock answered firmly.

Jose could feel oceans collecting in his eyes as he clenched his fists and hurried to blink back his tears.

“Bitch, you don’t know half as much as your petty, jealous ass think you do,” Jose snarled. “So why don’t you spend some time figuring it out and I’ll go flirt with and fuck whoever the hell I want.”

This time it was Jose’s turn to suddenly end the call, pressing end and putting his head in his hands as the dam burst and rivers flowed down his cheeks.

*****

It had been a week. A week of the loudest, most troubling silence Jose had ever known. He had thought he knew darkness, from their breakup and the inevitable hurt that followed, but those seemed like twilight compared to the overwhelming, seemingly never ending night that Jose was now experiencing. He realized that before there had been light in the darkness, Brock’s companionship and friendship and love in any form shining as bright as a shooting star and Jose couldn’t help but get lost in the glow. But now there was nothing. Another few days and it would be the longest they’d had ever gone without speaking and Jose knew he had to find a flashlight and make his way out of of the dark.

He picked up his phone, ready to contact Brock when 🧡 showed up in his text notifications. **I don’t know what to say** the message that came next before Jose’s phone sounded and Brock’s face appeared on screen.

Though Jose found Brock endlessly attractive, even when he knew he shouldn’t, he couldn’t help but notice how awful he currently looked. Brock’s eyes were wet and encircled by dark bags, as if surrounded by storm clouds about to unleash a downpour. His usually tousled curls that Jose still longed to bury his fingers in now looked tangled and unwashed and not as fluffy as Jose remembered them. Jose wanted to instantly forgive Brock, to gaze into his so clearly remorseful eyes and accept whatever he was offering to get them back to where they were. But then he was reminded of what Brock had said to him, what he had accused him of. It was as though Brock had never known Jose’s heart at all, as if all of what Jose actually yearned for, tenderness and softness and acceptance and love, were suddenly deceitful, like it was all a trick to keep the spotlight on him and the fans entertained. With that thought Jose lost his sympathy, his outraged tone shooting out at Brock like a bullet from a gun.

“You calling to slut shame me again when I didn’t even do nothing?” Jose scoffed as he attempted to appear stern and intimidating.

“No,” Brock replied meekly as if in surrender, his mournful tone of voice catching Jose by surprise.“It’s just,” Brock continued, now seeming slightly embarrassed as his cheeks took on a peachy hue. “I haven’t heard your voice since we, you know, and I couldn’t stand that being the last thing you said to me.”

“Last thing?” Jose exclaimed in confusion. “Fuck, do you know something I don’t? Cause it ain’t like I’m dying over here or nothing.”

Brock’s lips turned up into a small, regretful but fond smile and a chuckle left his mouth. “I know, but I don’t,” Brock began. “If I’m coming on too strong you can tell me. I’ve learned that I can be a little flirty without meaning to, especially with someone I really…” Brock cut himself off before his lips uttered the words that were locked away in his chest, words that pounded to get out with every beat of his heart. “But I just don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything or that I’m pushing you,” he finished with a worried expression.

“Have we body swapped or something?” Jose smirked in disbelief. “Cause bitch, you sounding a hell of a lot like me worrying about if you acting a fool and being too much.”

“I just don’t want to risk losing you,” Brock softly admitted. “You’re one of my best friends and I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he said with all the sincerity of their first I love yous. “And I mean, if you need me to tone things down, since I know you don’t want me like that anymore…”

“Brock,” Jose stopped him mid-sentence, refusing to let him believe something that was so far from the truth. “Are you crazy? I want you so much, all the time, always,” he began with an affectionate smile.

“Bitch that burning and yearning ain’t leave my chest from the minute your designer Mountie ass set foot in the werk room and done near stole all our damn attention. It was like you a jewel or metal or something cause my eyes was just pulled to you like a magnet. Shit, they still are whether you be in drag or not. And when you ain’t Brooke, when you ain’t her and you just you, baby that’s when the rabbit comes outta the hat and the real magic starts,” Jose continued, his mouth like an uncorked champagne bottle spilling out all the feelings that he had forced down for too long.

“That’s when you get my eyes, my dick, my heart, everything I got gets sucked in by you like you a damn Hoover or something. And that ain’t no drag confidence. That’s you and them curls and that giggle and that brightness. Brooke a beautiful lampshade but Brock is the light boo,” Jose grinned watching how the simple slip of the pet name and some genuine praise made Brock glow as bright and as brilliant as a supernova.

“You got them high beams turned up real high and it can’t do nothing else but melt my heart and make me shine too. And,” Brock saw Jose’s smile begin to wilt. “And you got no idea how hard it is to have to try and turn that light off. To see yourself and the boy you love glow together and then to just shut it down and have your career and your insecurities and all these expectations just blow that candle right on out.”

“Then let’s relight it,” Brock replied unquestioningly like it was the only apparent solution.

“What?” Jose asked incredulously.

“Let’s relight our candle and try again,” Brock repeated hopefully yet slightly tentative.

“Boo, I know your smoker ass got a few lighters laying around but it ain’t that simple,” Jose said, trying to recall all the reasons they did not work out in the first place yet not being able to think of a single one.

“Weren’t you the one who said ‘if you want it to work it’ll work’?” Brock asked as he joyfully did his best imitation of Jose.

“Ho I do not sound like that,” Jose replied trying to sound annoyed yet mirroring Brock’s amusement.

“Just answer the question,” Brock countered, not letting Jose back down.

“Yeah, I said that, but that was before-“

“And,” Brock interrupted. “Weren’t you the one who said ‘good pussy don’t never get tired’?”

“Yeah, but what does that have to do with-“

“Are you tired?” Brock questioned in earnest. He noted Jose’s confused expression and repeated himself. “Are you tired? Of all of it, the loving, the fighting, the sex, the confusion. Are you tired of us? Of me?”

Jose gulped as he truly thought about his answer. “Well, I’m sure as fuck tired of all the drama and conflama and having to always keep my heart on lockdown like it in jail or something,” he began as he voiced his thoughts out loud. “And I’m real tired of always playing games and how everything’s always gotta be so complicated,” Jose could continue but once he saw the anxious look on Brock’s face he knew he had to hand over control from his head to his heart.

“But you? Shit, baby I ain’t ever tired of you,” Jose said as his eyes glistened and he smiled dreamily, noting that Brock was gazing back at him with the same tender hopefulness. “And there nothing out there that’ll ever make me tired of how your annoyingly charming ass make me feel.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Brock replied smugly yet still blushing from Jose’s flattery. “Now I know you’re a big superstar drag diva,” Brock said with a grin. “And we’re both busy and overwhelmed and focused but, I don’t think we should let Brooke and Vanjie fuck up how Brock and Jose feel about each other.”

“And how do we feel about each other?” Jose teased though he was dying to know the answer.

“I know that you make me feel happy and silly and safe, and I know that you’re worth making a few sacrifices for. I know that the way I feel about you I’ve never felt about anyone else, well, except maybe the cats,” Brock joked as Jose tried to sassily glare at him while trying to hold the tears in his eyes. “And I know that I love you, and that I want to feel how I feel about you for as long as you’ll have me.”

“I want that too Toes,” Jose confirmed, his voice low and sincere. “And I love you too.”

“I’m glad,” Brock replied with a grin. “And I really am sorry about what I said before. I know you don’t go around crushing on every cute boy.”

“You got that right. This right here’s all yours boo,” Jose laughed in delight as he blew a kiss towards his phone screen and watched Brock open up his hand to catch it as a flush painted his cheeks.

“And I guess now that everything’s out in the open and figured out, it’s actually okay if you want to go flirt with Austin some more, you know, for the sake of the show,” Brock playfully suggested as he tried his best to wink at Jose.

“He cute but I don’t know if my boyfriend would approve,” Jose gleamed. “Maybe he oughta make a cameo and show all these boys and the fans at home just exactly who I belong to.”

Brock smiled his signature Jose smile as he began scanning the couch for his iPad so he could buy his ticket to Vegas

“Yeah,” Brock agreed wholeheartedly. “I think he should.”


End file.
